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To start with, you have to rethink the way that you present yourself.
Studies show that between 75% to 93% of communication is non-verbal.
At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.
This means sending out more cold e-mails, dealing with more rejections and more dates that go nowhere. It’s part of the price of entry, and it’s better that adjust your expectations accordingly instead of dealing with the slow burn of “WHY WON’T THE MAGICAL BOX PROVIDE ME WITH SEX?
We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.
All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.
If your brand of humor trends to the physical or being silly, then post that picture of you as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from last Halloween or doing something wacky.
You also have to consider where and how to present your best self.
If you’re the sort of person who’s clever and witty, then you want to look more towards a site like OKCupid that lets you display your humor like the tail of an Oscar Wilde-loving peacock.
I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.
For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on.
One of the advantages of online dating is that you are capable of carrying on several asynchronous conversations, fielding responses from persons X and Y while also sending out an introductory message to person Z. Focusing on one single person – even if you’re at the “meeting in person” stage – puts far too much importance on them and makes it sting worse if it doesn’t work out the way you’d hope. Everyone has heard it a thousand times before they saw your profile and they didn’t believe it any of those times either.